Show Notes
5 Ways to ask and receive help in a supportive way. Understand how being resistant to help cramps your creative style and how you can transform your relationshup with help in magical ways.
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Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Making of you. I'm Alexandria, founder of the Mastery Project, and you'd Transformation Hub. And this podcast is dedicated to understanding the whys and ways to transform the mundane into the magical, doable into enjoyable, successful and purposeful, all while having fun becoming the architect of your own life.
Okay, let's get into it. So today we are looking at five ways to give and receive help easily.
Okay, so number one, why can help become such an issue?
Well, fundamentally, help is like any creative infinity. It is a give and take. And if we sit at the center of the infinity, then we can not only give, but we can also receive. But the problem is, are we balanced? And that's my number one. If you want to give and receive help, give effortlessly or easily, then you do need to check your personal balance point.
So how do you do that? Well, you know me, I'm going there. Yes, your heart, mind alignment. Please check in that you have the energy first and foremost to give help. All right, a lot of people are running on empty and they don't realize that they're actually building up a resentful relationship with help because they don't have the energy and they need to check in with themselves.
So heart, mind alignment, what does that mean? Well, we have our heart connection. It's infinite, all right? That is unique to us and we just need to choose to use it. And by being open hearted, doesn't make us gullible, but we are in a place where we are saying, hey, we are connected to all that is. Our infinite portal of energy and fuel starts in the heart. And of course, we need to be open to this and connected and aligned with with it.
So you can simply close your eyes and align in your heart center, whatever visualization you have, or you can. If you don't visualize, you can just feel that sense of endless flow. You're not worried. There's always energy flowing through you. You're always connected. There's always an answer, opportunity, and an alternative.
So that's connecting into your heart. Then you connect with your head. Now head for me is your strategy and your list. Center the place where you administrate your life and of course, where you apply practically. And we want a combination of both. We want a balance of both. So when your heart, mind alignment is functioning well, then you're sitting in the middle, you're balanced, you're getting that infinite flow of energy flowing through you, through your experiences, your life, your creative process.
And you've got, of course, that great planning and strategy and Practicality of how it's going to come into being.
So help is no different, all right? The state of help is literally akin to how much we are open hearted and open minded.
And so if you are tired, all right, one of the key elements is to balance up. So get back in your heart center and give yourself some conscious connection time, all right? Whatever way that works for you could be walking in nature, could be in just sleeping very simply or relaxing with a beautiful hobby, a nice book, something that really helps you get back into your heart center. Some activity that brings you into a space of really enjoying and loving and feeling peaceful, harmonized and feeling that energy flow.
And so you then are balancing back up.
Okay?
So number one, please get balanced. Please look at what is happening with your energy in order to be able to give and receive help easily.
Okay, number two.
Well, we have polarities in our world. We have extremes, we have master and servant, we have victim and tyrant. And then we have us hopefully hanging out in the middle going, don't want to be a victim. So I choose consciously and I don't want to be a tyrant because I don't want to force, judge or make everyone else do what I want because that's being in my ego, not in my heart.
So my number two is with help.
Often people don't realize how help adverse they are. Why? Because perhaps they've been brought up with very strong beliefs such as if you receive help, it makes you weak, it admits you can't do things and basically you are failing in some degree.
Now is that balance? No. Because in our world as we know, what goes around comes around. So openness is key to keeping the flow going. And what is flow? Flow equals easy, flow equals effortless. So if you're in alignment with that flow, you really can create the help you need in any circumstance, but also be able to give it. So my number two is please don't see receiving help as being weakness, all right?
Be aware that it's the other end. If you say, oh no, I don't need help because you're always giving it to other people, at some point you're going to get exhausted. It isn't balanced.
So if you have been brought up that help is weakness, look at that limited belief and say to yourself, hey, that that's not helping me. All right? That's my ego, my limited self trying to dictate how I choose and it's not helping me. It's a burden, it's a limited perspective and it's going to cause struggle and Difficulty in long term.
So my number two is, please don't look at receiving help unconditionally for yourself as weakness. It isn't all right? It is simply acknowledging that in all of our lives, no man is an island. All right? What goes around comes around. And at some point, if we have been giving a lot of help to others and not receiving or knocking back help ourselves, then we're going to get to cross a desert of zero support if we don't watch it. So we don't want to get to the extreme of having to receive help and feeling beholden or feeling a failure. We want to recognize that it's a natural and normal part of life.
Okay, so number three. Well, receiving unconditionally. I've touched on it in number two. It is a great strength just as much as giving unconditionally.
And some people with help, they don't like to give help. And this is the resistance, because they believe that help equals servitude. Oh, God, if I help you, then everyone else is going to want my help and then I'm just going to end up helping everyone else and I'm not going to get my work done again.
This is the ego talking, the limited part of ourselves trying to get us out of the balance of giving and receiving. And what goes around comes around.
So the key to giving or receiving unconditionally is to realize that it's going to keep you in the infinite loop of creation. It's going to keep you in the infinite and balanced flow of your life. It's not going to drain your energy.
All right?
So if you don't like helping people because you're worried that everyone else is then going to ask you for help, get real and realize you've got a choice. Okay? But if you are an unhelpful person, then what that does is it moves you further and further out of the loop.
So for me, I don't believe in counting. Like, oh, I helped two people yesterday, so I'm going to help myself twice today. It's not about that, but it is about flow and it is about timing.
So if you're going through your day and you're hyper, super busy and someone just puts another thing on your plate and says, help me with that.
You are going to say, no, not balanced. Can't give it my full attention.
So not able to help you today.
But if you were to say, oh, yeah, I'll do that and resent it, then of course you're creating a burden for yourself and that gives you that sort of coloring of help being a burden, help being something that you don't want to do because it just is more and more responsibility.
So my number three is understand that being in the loop of helping yourself and others is really, really important in the creative flow of life. And we are not an island, all right? We are connected to everyone to some degree. So I always say to people, be willing to help, but also be honest if you have a lot to do and that you would like to, but you might need to put it later or you might need to do it in a different way.
Okie dokie, number four, okay? Self honesty is a big tool. I believe in help.
And self honesty is going to be checking in, first and foremost, looking at your balance point, but more importantly understanding your core beliefs about help.
All right? And changing these because the foundation of what you believe is going to affect your relationship with help hugely.
So do your truth checker, all right? And make sure that you're not allowing your ego to push you in a situation of all or nothing.
Now a lot of people get a little bit hyper about helping other people, like it's a beautiful pleasure, which of course it is, but, but actually they start building a polarity of always giving to other people and then not having the energy at the end of the day to give to themselves. So what happens is an all or nothing polarity builds within ourselves and that can create a lot of polarized issues, drains, peaks and troughs really high, really low as we move through life if we keep that all or nothing polarity and foundation building.
So if you're self honest, you are required to say, hey, yeah, I'm getting a bit sort of overzealous or hypey about helping everyone else and maybe that's not the most balanced place to be. And also I am getting attached to people needing me, for example, or I'm getting attached to saving people from probably what they most need to learn. So my number four in self honesty, you're going to learn how help helps you, but also how help helps others. And so sometimes just because we can do something for someone else doesn't mean to say that we're actually being helpful.
So I call it the three time rule.
So if someone comes to me and says to me, I need help with this, I'll go, right, give them help. Given that I'm balanced, I've got time, it's in alignment, great.
Now if they come back and it's the same thing and it seems to have not really stuck or they haven't really understood or they haven't got like questions about how they applied it, but they just want it done for them, then I'm going to flag it. I'm going to say, number two, hey, what's been learned here? Did you understand what I said last time?
Have we moved forward? Have you tried these things? All right, and thirdly, all right, if the person is still not learning, then perhaps refer them to someone else because they're not necessarily understanding through you. And not to take it personally, not to go, I failed to help them just to say, hey, maybe I'm not your person. And we've tried three times and so, hey, find someone else that you resonate with that you believe can help you.
Alrighty, so my last point today about help.
Help can be a really big indication of resistance. And so if we are moving through life simply focused on doing all right, focused on being the most efficient, the most productive we can be, but we're not really enjoying ourselves, that can make us really quite difficult to help. And then it becomes a bit of a spiral, all right, that we are perhaps becoming smaller and smaller in our ability to connect with others and our ability to be included and to be part of the help and be helped cycle in our life.
So my number five is please be easy to help, all right? Some people are very difficult to help. It's not because they're not really great, you know, in the sense that they might be super high achievers or they're really on it or they're very capable.
But it may be also that we fear letting people in, we fear relating and we start becoming self isolating and difficult to help simply because we think of the belief system, for example, of weakness or we're simply not aware that we're not actually very easy to help.
So my number five, if you've got pride standing between you and a wonderful fulfilling solution, all right, give pride back to your ego. All right, step back into your heart. Look and check in with your heart mind alignment and say, am I really balanced?
Am I just hanging out on a cliff of polarity? And I'd rather jump in, if you like, into the waters, the murky waters, than actually step back off the cliff and go, hey, everything's a co creation.
Alrighty. Well, it's been my great pleasure to talk about giving and receiving help easily today. And if you like this content, then please like and subscribe on your chosen podcast platform or you can go direct to the source to YourTransformationHub.com and check out the other episodes there. We've also got bonus episodes which don't appear on the regular platforms. And if you are interested in inner journeys and in your personal alchemy and your better version of self, check out the Discover section with lots of wonderful ways to overcome limited beliefs. Thank you very much for joining me.
