Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Making of you. I'm Alexandria, founder of the Mastery Project, and you'd Transformation Hub. And this podcast is dedicated to understanding the whys and ways to transform, to convert doable into enjoyable, successful, purposeful, and to become the architect of your own life.
Okay, so today Our episode is 5 Ways to Find the Exit from a Comfort zone.
And this is a very interesting topic because a lot of people don't actually know they are in a comfort zone. And so I'm going to do number one, how do you know when you're in a comfort zone?
Okay, comfort zones come, of course, from a degree of success or a degree of feeling that your life has improved. You've got more comfort, you've got more support.
Now, the key with life is, as we know in all transformation, is to keep on the curve of life. And the problem when we get off the curve of life is that we start to become less and less aligned. So how do we do it? Well, generally we're going to go and get out of our heart-mind alignment and move into our heads and what happens as a result? Our ego or our limited self is going to try and keep us there.
So that can foster a degree of denial. It can also carry a sort of heavy penalty and a drain because we're no longer connected to our heart in the fullest way, so we're not really fueling our lives. And then we can unfortunately go from comfort into stagnation.
So the checklist for number one is all you've got to be is honest with yourself. Ask yourself the following questions. All right, so number one, are you in your head or are you in your heart? When did you last combine heart, mind, and really ask yourself the question about what you dream, what you want for yourself, and listen to the answers quietly in your own sacred or dedicated space.
If you haven't been doing that, you might go, no, I'm too busy looking after everyone else, or work so busy, or I'm in a space where I feel a bit isolated and so I just haven't been communicating. All of that smacks of your limited self attempting to corner you, attempting to put you in a situation where you're so busy that you can't think about what you truly want or dedicate to yourself or that you are creating activities and an excess of doing in order to avoid where you've arrived at.
Now, the most important thing is ask yourself. You don't have to ask anyone else. You don't have to judge yourself. You don't need necessarily to have the opinions of others. The advice and opinions might be helpful. But the key for yourself in number one is to establish your comfort zone issues.
Please ask yourself first and please hand on heart, be honest with you and you don't need to listen to the judgments or criticisms of others.
Okay, last question that you might want to ask yourself in number one is do you feel your energies sort of draining away in your days? Do you feel that you are frustrated or angry? You're going around in circles, doing the same things and sadly wanting different results and feeling that you sort of climb up and then fall down? All of this is an indication that you most likely going around and around with your limited self. And as I've said, you've missed that connection with your heart and now you don't have much fuel. You just have the repetitive conditioning of your limited self or your limited beliefs or a limited perception of yourself. And that's what's the major input in your life.
So the problem with a comfort zone is it often doesn't get really bad for quite a period of time. So it kind of creeps up on you. So the key for me, let's move to number two, let's get some remedies. How can you exit if you're feeling that particular landscape sort of coming in around you and starting to dominate your life?
Well, number two, the tool that is the most effective in exiting a comfort zone is detachment.
But the problem is detachment does get a bad reputation, mutation in the understandings, and mostly is misunderstood as a very powerful and supportive spiritual tool.
So let me explain. Detachment is simply our capacity to acknowledge that we cannot learn from where we are anymore, that it's been great, it is part of our sum total wisdom in our lives. But we don't need to perpetuate the circumstance or the situation.
Unfortunately, detachment has got the reputation of being unfeeling and uncaring and that it means if you do detach. Often detachment is simply going into yourself and asking yourself questions, turning off that fast forward high volume outside world and finding some peace and balance within yourself. And that means that you're not with people so much for a period of time or that you're choosing to prioritize and be self loving for you. But the rest of the world goes, where's that person gone? Or why have they taken themselves off or out of the circumstance or there and then they start building. For example, they're ignoring me, what have I done wrong?
And there can be all shades of different circumstances where a person who simply trying to Find a degree of balance and a degree of expanded view and perspective feels like they're being criticized or attacked for dedicating to themselves.
So detachment doesn't mean you don't care about everyone else, and it doesn't mean that you aren't in a position to make your choices and to do something self loving for yourself.
It just simply is a courageous choice first and foremost, because your limited self wants to keep you occupied.
And the two ways it keeps you occupied is with the judgments of other people and the busyness of outside and with you just beating yourself up about not doing the right thing, whatever that appears to be.
So detachment is like if you visualize a kind of sword coming down and cutting a rope to a big burden that you've been lugging along tied to your ankles and you've just been sort of trying to walk forward, but you're dragging this big burden. So when you detach, you cut that rope because you're being honest and saying, I don't have the best balance point at the moment and I do need to gain clarity and I do need to find a new balance point. And I don't want to be dragged down by judgments, false perceptions, or generally feeling burdened by things that I can't change or are none of my business.
So the key is to bring your energy back into yourself to reclaim. Because you've said I'm temporarily stepping away doesn't mean I don't love you guys or I don't want to be part of my beautiful world and all the busyness. But at the moment, the, the best thing that I need to do is to utilize that sword to detach from the aspects in my life that don't appear to be improving and could potentially in the long term, drag me down.
So how do we regain that balance? Well, detachment can work in lots of different ways. As I said, you can go within.
You can create a meditation discipline that you want to do. I know that sounds like, well, it's harsh and no fun. It's fabulous. Imagine simply that you are in a beautiful bubble of iridescent light. You're of course not driving. You're, you know, you're in your room or you're in a beautiful lounge room relaxing, and you see that the energies from Mother Earth and the energies from around you are helping you balance and helping you gain clarity and supporting simplicity and supporting realization. That's one of the best ways to do it. If you're imbalanced, then you're going to feel energized, but that doesn't mean you can bounce off the walls necessarily. That's not the point. The point is that you're restoring your connection with your heart and you're finding the foundation of balance. You're reconstructing and reclaiming your balance.
So that's a very, very important tool. And detachment, as I've said, doesn't mean you don't care. It actually means that you are caring enough and caring in a self loving way about you in order to that fresh perspective and to break away from what is becoming potentially a long term drain or an even all consuming circumstance. It never gets any better, but it is actually over time dragging you down because there is no change and you've got off and got away from the authentic momentum and alignment in your life.
Alrighty. So detachment key. Please rethink or revisit detachment as an empowering tool, not as a judgment and not as insensitivity or denial. It's the capacity, as I've said, to be courageous, to go, I don't want to drag the burdens, I want to recycle them and re express them in a different way so I can use that energy and get my balance back.
Okay. Number three, don't ever forget you are a divine spark. You're connected to all that is. You're connecting to the endless flows of energy in the universe. And that means that you are able to command your conscious choice and your alignment, your heart, mind, alignment. But you do need to choose. And so many people are so scattered or so consumed if you will, with the external that they simply forget to choose differently.
So they are actually capable of stepping back. But they can't understand why things aren't changing or working or getting better because they're literally not choosing consciously.
So I recommend in number three that people do one of two things. Number one, step back, of course.
Number two, recognize the cycle you're in.
And when you do, are you committed to that cycle? Does that resonate with you? Is if you went into your heart right now, are you capable of saying, yeah, that is my truth, I do want to do it, I am responsible for it. Or I'm, I'm connected to it. Or you know, it could be making your heart sing, it could be making you feel, gosh, that's really not what I want to do.
So it's being capable of choosing consciously and also looking at the cycle you're in now. Some people literally, they are in a cycle where growth or expansion isn't actually what they require. It's perhaps clutter Clearing in their world. So simplifying, downsizing, reassessing how their world's going and what's happening.
And some people, they're in a birth cycle thinking, oh, I actually feel that I'm stuck, for example, simply because they've been told, oh, that's not working, this is not working. Or they've been beating themselves up and criticizing themselves instead of simply engaging in a new activity, a new way of looking at their lives or taking a leap of faith and trying something new.
So my number three is look at the cycle you're in, please, and establish that and connect with it and make sure that it represents and resonates with you as you're traveling through your life.
Okay? Number four, a lot of people are frightened of the unknown. Hey, what is there in our life? People will say the ultimate fear is simply fear itself.
So my number four is please don't look when you're in your comfort zone at all the flows that are coming in potentially to help you move and realign and carry on with the momentum of your life. Don't look at those flows as necessarily being bad, detrimental, unsupportive, etc. Etc.
And that's again, our limited self in our mind would love to say, oh, don't risk that, don't do this.
And essentially energy is neutral, it is unconditionally loving. It is an endless flow. All right? So when you go into your heart center and connect to that infinite creative portal, you are giving yourself the opportunity to embrace your full capability and it's neutral. All right? You choose and don't forget, you always choose. Okay? And again, that's something that we do forget.
So the last point today is number five, if you do feel you're stuck, if you do feel that the detachment or the self realization, the self honesty isn't quite helping you move ahead, then always remember you can ask for help.
Now I'm a big one to say ask for help inside of yourself, but equally you can ask for help externally. But remember that suffering, not, you know, feeling worthy, beating yourself up, all of these cycles are not helping you. They're not self loving and they're not contributing to your balance point.
So it's not about trying harder, it's about rebirthing your balance and using that heart mind alignment to nourish whatever change and whatever momentum you need to make to move forward. And sometimes when we've been in a comfort zone for a period, of course we have to get some momentum and start building that up. And the best way to do that is what I've mentioned in I think number three, which is to clutter, clear, simplify and start recycling what doesn't serve us.
Okay, it's been my pleasure to talk about leaving comfort zones and moving to the next expansive and beautiful phase of your life. If you like this content, then please don't hesitate to visit YourTransformationHub.com There are plenty of episodes for this podcast, the Making of you. And of course, lots of different content there. Lots of beautiful inner journeys to help you transform whatever you want to improve, whatever you want to expand in your life. Thank you very much for joining me.
