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5 Ways to understand heartbreak and what you need to do to transform shock into a healing success. Tools, and insights into navigating relationships with joy and wisdom rather than fearing getting hurt.
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Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Making of you. I'm Alexandria, founder of the Mastery Project and your Transformation Hub. And this podcast is dedicated to understanding the whys and ways to transform mundane into magical, doable into enjoyable, successful, and purposeful, all while having fun becoming the architect of your own life.
Okie dokie. So Today's episode is 5 Ways to Mend a Broken Heart.
And this episode I'm really quite excited about because I think hving a broken heart is a very healthy circumstance. Why could I possibly say that? Right, let's dive in. Number one.
Well, when we break our hearts, what we're really doing is we are breaking boundaries about how we are able to love ourselves, how we're able to love someone else, and also our general relationship with loving consciousness.
So I see a broken heart simply as the mechanism that we sometimes need to move beyond how we have been experiencing love previously.
So for me, it is an extremely healing indication, and it is one where we are literally birthing into a new experience of our alignment with love.
Now, of course, everyone will go, no, it's so painful. Yes, it is. Why is it painful? Well, it is akin to having a baby to birth itself.
So when we break our heart, we are literally birthing a new potentiality for our heart. And just like having a baby, there is going to be a period where of that development which is painful. And the reason it's painful is because we are breaking the attachments to the way that we used to perceive love, the way we used to experience love. And of course, those attachments are going to be run by our limited self, our ego self.
So that is why we can often feel incredibly deep down or in a lot of turmoil when we break up from relationships.
Now, ego would like to tell us that unconditionally loving relationships are all about giving yourself, but that doesn't mean you give yourself away. And that's what ego encourages us to do. So a lot of the time, the nature of a broken heart, when it's really deeply felt is it is for two very important reasons. Number one, our attachment to that particular person was very deep. All right? We invested our energies heavily, and probably our ego squeaked in that and started influencing us, giving more energy to the relationship and getting out of a balance point.
So that can be also that someone was giving to us more and we were enjoying that and not being in the full commitment or responsibility of the relationship. So it works, works both ways, but that's simply the attachment. So as the attachment deepens, then that can cause a very big upheaval when that particular situation comes to an end.
The second reason is if you believe in reincarnation, if you believe that we have all times coexisting in our energy field and we have the opportunity to bring to peace and harmony previous relationships from other lifetimes, then that's my number two. Because I think when people feel that the relationship they're in was meant to be and is incredibly resonant and destined in their perception, then of course it breaking up and moving beyond that can appear to be a really big and painful step forward.
So for me, if we do meet people from previous lifetimes, it can be the most glorious of relationships. But that doesn't necessarily mean that once that particular relationship has come to balance and harmony, that it's going to last the whole of a life. So that's my number one.
It is actually a celebration of your ability to love more, more profoundly, more completely in greater balance when you break your heart. But yeah, I'm not saying it's not painful.
Okay, so number two, what would I recommend that people do to mend the broken heart? Well, first and foremost it is to accept that the partnership has come to an end and that one can be the really tough one. And the reason is because at a point where we feel perhaps our lowest or we really do feel that we're reforming very much from a foundational level up, the ego, our limited self can dash into the void and say you need me, you need me to tell you who to be and what to do. And that was a big mistake and you should never trust again. And you've got to move in with me permanently in your head and not do any of that yucky love stuff again because it's painful and that's just the way it is.
So my number two is please do not jump into your head, give up an open heartedness, an open mindedness state because you feel hurt or you're in a lot of pain. Now please give that expansion, give that birth, give that true and authentic breakthrough, a time to settle. And that's when acceptance and allowance are really key.
So if you can step back and say what is the most balanced thing to do? Well, if I want to be self loving in this situation, then of course it's really important that I keep an open heart, an open mind. It's really important that I keep my heart mind alignment in relative balance to the best of my ability.
Now if you can, then of course you'll be fueling your next unconditionally loving foundation with greater wisdom and greater understandings.
But if you jump into your head, there's a big temptation that your ego will say, oh, it's their fault and they did all this wrong. And then you'll go into a huge mental kind of post mortem about why everything ended up being a painful breakup.
So for me, number two, please don't let your ego, your limited self take advantage of you. Please choose to step back. Please choose to really invest in your heart, mind alignment, be there in your heart and just see endless flows of energy aligning and working with you and you stepping and choosing to be in that endless flow and recognizing that part of that is to just simply be calm and peaceful. Yes, you might feel very sad, but it's not to dive into a blame game or get sucked into your mind going, oh, I can't trust ever again. And that was awful and it was the biggest mistake of my life and I'm never going to do it again, etc. Etc.
Don't make big impressions, all right, or big judgments because those need to be dissolved later on.
So the key is stay in your balance. Point to the best of your ability, whatever way you can.
And some people like to do that in many different ways. So I'm going to move now to number three.
How do you invest in an emotional reset? Well, the key is to understand that, number one, whatever steps you're taking to rebalance, they are supportive, all right? Don't stop trusting, don't stop loving, don't stop your connection with loving consciousness, all right? Because that includes your self, loving connection. And we want all of those elements intact, all right? It's nobody's fault. What it is simply saying is the alignment that you had with love has changed. Now one of the best ways to allow this transformation is of course to grieve and to acknowledge what is passing. Now why would I say that? Well, because it's all energy, okay? Now if you've invested heavily in a relationship that you really thought, thought was for life or was very deep and very meaningful to you, then you're going to have had big attachments.
And so these big attachments can hold a lot of energy.
Now if you've been on top of that subsidizing the relationship because you want to keep it going, when actually you've had indications that it was sort of falling apart because literally there wasn't the cohesiveness or the alignment, then you, you can then also have given yourself away to some degree or other. So the grieving process is so powerful because what it does is it helps you restructure, it helps you do the three R's. It helps you respond to yourself in a self loving way. It helps you recycle the fear of loss and the fear of the expansion that you're undergoing. And thirdly, it helps you reclaim, all right? And to move into that rebirth state, to expand your understanding of loving consciousness and also your loving foundation that you are worthy of your next step, your next increase in frequency.
So your emotional reset is entirely up to you. But a lot of people talk about grief as being exhausting. Well, the reason it's exhausting is because it is very much about recycling who you used to be and recycling your relationship with love.
So that needs to happen because then you can get all of that beautiful energy that you might have given away of yourself or the imbalance or just literally the whole experience. You get to recycle that and get the energy back.
Not only is it going to be flowing through you and help you rebuild, it's actually going to be flowing through you at a higher frequency.
The time when people can get really, really down is when of course the ego has got in between you and your heart center. So you've dragged into your mind and you've been basically criticized by your inner critic or told by your limited self that you mucked up or you're unworthy or you failed and you've entered into that conversation.
So for me, if you're in a grieving process, please try and keep the post relationship post mortems to a minimum. Please stay in your heart center. Please invest in the endless nature of loving consciousness and you might in your emotional reset like to walk in nature.
You might like to find a new hobby, some element of rebirth and that will bring you into a space where you start to accept the rebuild.
Alrighty, so number four. Well, falling in love is a beautiful journey. And in real terms we are falling in love with ourselves and with other people because to the way that we love other people of course is related to what we understand in loving consciousness and our experience of it. And so please, if your heart's been broken, look at the fact that the universe is offering you a greater alignment with love and it's trying to dissolve as well any all or nothing polarities within yourself. Now what do I mean by that? Well, we've got a lot of limited beliefs around unconditional love that say, you know, we're not a complete person unless we find the one. For example, you are always in your natural and divine nature, a complete connection to Unconditional love, whether you choose to use it, whether you choose to align and grow with it, that is your choice.
But you don't need anyone to complete you.
You are the unconditionally loving unity, as I said in your choice and how you choose to express it.
So it's to trust that and it's to know that love starts within like everything else. And also that if you have been giving yourself away, then of course you're going to drain yourself and be in a lot of problems in a short space of time.
So this breakup could be the way that you get to understand all or nothing. And you say, no, I was over giving or subsidizing or keeping the relationship going. So you don't want to be doing that. You want to be coming from a loving alignment that is balanced.
It could also be that you were saying, I had really high expectations actually, if I'm honest, and that I didn't really contribute or take responsibility for my part of the partnership.
Now, the key with life alchemy is you are simply taking energy and expressing it at a higher frequency. You're becoming more worthy of your infinite loving potential. And you're also recognizing that there is a transformation process underway.
So my number four, the tools are discernment. All right, Dissolve all or nothing. Look at your relationship with love. Trust the process. Don't give up on love, don't give up on yourself. But also recognize that you're reclaiming energy and that takes time and patience.
Alrighty. My last number today is number five. And what I say to people is to mend a broken heart, is to come full circle and say, what did I learn? What can I laugh about? What can I celebrate? And to recognize that all loving partnerships, however long they are, one summer, two nights, 30 years, they are all beautiful ways to learn about love. And it is definitely a time for us when we are healing heartbreak. To say, what are the qualities that I loved about the partnership that's just come to an end? What parts of me did I feel were really rising up there? What best versions of me were being discovered and uncovered in this relationship? And how can I take all of that beautiful wisdom harvesting forward and create an even more high frequency relationship with love and an even more comprehensive foundation of what a loving and truly loving and unconditionally loving relationship is for me moving forward.
And that's the key.
So wisdom, harvest, love, learn, celebrate and be willing to take that next step. Trust the process and move again when you are in alignment and when you are feeling ready.
Okay? Well, it's been my pleasure to talk about mending a broken heart today, and if you like this content, then please don't hesitate to like and subscribe on your chosen podcast platform.
Or you could go direct to source and go to your transformationhub.com There are lots of episodes, some free and different episodes only featured on the website. And of course, all of the beautiful content is there for you to have fun becoming the architect of your own life. Thank you very much.
