Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Making of you. I'm Alexandria, founder of the Mastery Project and you'd Transformation Hub. And this podcast is dedicated to the whys and ways to transform doable into enjoyable, successful and purposeful while becoming the architect of your own life.
Okay, so with St. Valentine's Day just around the corner, I thought I'd explore today five ways the frogs or froggettes help you find your prince or princess.
Okay, so number one, well I think we've all got a dating app or a blind date story that's cringe worthy or is one of our up there faux pas on the relationship front.
But today I want to talk about how we can beat the evil algorithm in dating apps and actually be able to enjoy the process of unfolding into a relationship that's truly fulfilling and resonant.
So my number one today is that if you're going to be in a relationship with someone that you truly feel that you can be not only in respect and appreciate who they are, but but also be in love with, then I believe it's really important first and foremost to fall in love with yourself.
So the frogs and froggettes who leap into your life are going to be a constant reflection of that unfolding self love.
So you know me, I'm a big proponent of the heart mind alignment. So let's just look into that about the dating journey.
So when you're in your heart, you are connected to the infinite portal of energy, all that is out there, God, higher frequency, whatever you want to call it, and you get the opportunity to unlimit your relating sphere.
So the heart gives you that connection. It's unique to you. No one has the connection that you have, but it's still your choice and your responsibility to develop that connection.
So the simple thing with the heart portal is just remember that if you want to create anything, you do need to be committed to creating that particular experience.
And if you're going to do that, you need to be open hearted. Now I know a lot of people go, oh, I've been really upset or I had my heart broken before.
Well, just see that what you actually did was you expanded your heart, but you did it the hard way, so it was painful. Therefore. Therefore, honestly, it is an ongoing journey. We all have our heartbroken, not because it's right, not because it's wrong, but because we're actually learning to understand what loving consciousness is.
So if you want to fall in love with yourself, you're going to need that heart connection. So don't sort of say to Yourself, oh, I don't want to get hurt. Or I've got this really, really long list about what this person should be.
It's much more about saying, hey, let's start at home, let's look at me and let's say, what do I think are my best qualities? Or what do I truly want to share in a loving relationship? So the qualities might be that you want someone who's got a good sense of humor, you want someone who's kind, you want someone who understands what it is to have a working life, not someone who's clingy or someone who is constantly asking for attention.
So the key is get your qualities, all right? Get an idea of those. And you can do that best by sitting in your heart center and simply listening to yourself, listening to what you truly want and then of course, combining it with a little bit of mind, a little bit of what I call the mind administrating your life.
Now, a lot of people have lists, truly of the material aspects of relating. So how much money someone has, how good looking they are and how much disponable income are they prepared to spend on you?
So yes, obviously those are, shall I say, valid, all right, but also I recommend that your only list that you have is this list of qualities.
And that doesn't say that you can't choose obviously to be in a mutually balanced and prosperous relationship, for example, or one that you want someone to have a similar education or a similar background. But this is about resonance. And if you're going to establish resonance in relating, then you do need to understand qualities, all right? The real sense of yourself. And as I've said, fall in love with you. Be able to appreciate what you have to offer.
So my number one is fall in love with yourself, all right? And of course, be prepared to laugh at this journey that is unfolding in order to understand truly what you want in a loving relationship.
Also, I'd just like to say as a side note to number one, please put out photos of yourself that you're comfortable with. Now this can actually mean that you have to go to a professional photographer. Now a lot of people would say, oh, that's vanity, that's vain and that's ridiculous. This. Well, also a lot of people go, it's a waste of money because most people don't look like their profile photo.
Well, all I'm saying is I want you to be in love with yourself. I want you to be comfortable with yourself. And I don't really have any opinion about whether you're tall Fat, thin, gorgeous. It's all in the eye of the beholder. And the key with any of this profile photos is you've got to feel comfortable with you. All right? So get some photos that you resonate with.
Okay? Number two, it's not me, it's you. Who's heard that? Well, in the dating world, as we know, dating apps are fantastic for putting you out there, so widening the audience of your everyday meetings, perhaps, or, you know, your, your working life or your capacity to meet people.
But also it can actually dilute what you truly want if you're not putting yourself out there in a concentrated or balanced way.
So we know the evil algorithm can work for the dating app rather than work for you.
So I strongly recommend that you really understand what you want to achieve. If you're going to be on dating apps in, you know, the long term, there's a lot of discernment and editing required and you might just go, do you know what? It's not that I don't want to be there. I will be there. But I will equally pursue people actually introducing me or going the old fashioned organic route to finding the love of your life.
Now, I'm all for balance, and I personally believe that the human nature, all right, is going to be figuring much more in the coming decades than necessarily the credit that we give to AI or to the digital age. So basically, heart to heart is for me the way to go. And also, as many people say, when they do meet people from dating apps, they don't look like their photo, they don't actually appear remotely as their profile. So it can be very difficult or it can be a bit of a longer journey, in my opinion, if you're going to go into just digital, just the app opportunity to meet people.
So. And algorithms, if I take the ladies, all right, algorithms are often geared towards what ladies say they want, but actually there's also a backstory or a background to what women truly want. And a lot of the time women do want bad boys or they want excitement, but they are portraying perhaps in their profiles or in what they want, a more stable or more professional in the sense of much more traditional or provide a role type of male.
So just attempt to get the balance correct, all right, in anything that you want. So keep that balance in your heart. Keep that balance in what you write on your profile, because energetically, in the universe, the universe likes a clear, creative image, if you will. So if you're going to visualize the perfect guy, the perfect lady, then you're going to need to get that in focus, not as a force or as a stereotype, but really be at peace and aligned with who that person can be.
Okay, so how do you cope with the frogs or froggettes when they do arrive? Now, I know a lot of people. This is my number three. When the frog or frogg arrives, they can do many things, but a lot of people just go, oh, no, this is the last thing that I wanted. Or this is not remotely what I was envisaging this date to be.
So for me, why has someone turned up that is perhaps potentially a lot of not what you want and not a whole heap of what you want? Well, this is part of the creative journey, journey of relating. And for a lot of people, it's both confusing, amusing, and also discouraging. So I would like to say, for number three, please, before you go out dating, can you do some emotional clutter clearing? So there is often a need to radiate clarity.
And the way we can do it is to literally put in the recycling bin the previous relationships that haven't gone so well or the memories emotionally that have been a bit of a downer or have upset us. If we can do that, then the universe goes, oh, I can see past that sort of gray fog or the big sort of black boxes that are hanging around you because you can't let go of when your heart was broken or a broken engagement or a time in your life where the dating experience wasn't going well.
So emotional clutter clearing, you can do that simply by walking with mother Nature and by allowing any sort of past hurts, traumas and difficulties literally to go down to the center of the heart of earth. Now, she's the big, energetic recycler. She's the best relationship we have in conscious support in this. And so send it to her. She will help you recycle it, help you forgive, help you forget, and help that energy come back to you as useful, neutral, supportive fuel for the person that you truly want to come into alignment with you.
So, number three, do some emotional clutter clearing. All right? Let go of the past. Try very much to choose not to live in the past and carry out that by allowing, as I said, your emotional debris trauma to go to mother Earth. Alrighty, so number four.
Well, when we're facing a breakthrough, there's a funny thing in the universe in creativity that often just before we get a breakthrough in number four, we actually get quite the opposite of ourselves, almost completely the opposite of ourselves reflected to us.
So if you're out dating and you Go. Oh, I'm getting closer. You know, that last person was very pleasant. They're very nice. They're getting more into alignment with what I want. But it was missing that genocide quoi or, you know, that spark, that sense of true alignment, and then we go on the next date and sort of hit a brick wall. Why is this the case? Well, breakthrough needs fuel. And so one of the biggest initiations in dating is that we end up with a opposite polarity, sort of recycling to the max. So all the things in the past that we didn't align with, didn't get on with, they all get recycled.
So this can mean that the person in front of us is a real frog or a real frog ette. And literally the alignment to show us all of those aspects are actually leaving all in one go, in one person and in one reflection.
So, please, if you do hit the dating wall and you've got someone who's moaning, reacting, just be at peace, all right? Be polite, do your best and just be there, not in suffrage, all right? Sit there and say, I am transmuting. I am recycling the opposite of what I want. And this person is reflection of that and I'm getting it done.
I'm not saying you're going to stay the whole evening. I'm not saying that the one drink is going to go into 10.
Just don't blame yourself because you appear to have created the opposite.
Okay? So allow that concentration of what you don't want to leave to be recycled.
Okay, my last point today, number five, right? Dating is a little bit like comedy. It's all in the timing.
So no matter how long your dating journey has been going, all right, please understand that with greater alignment, with understanding what has happened on your dating journey and about how that reflects to you is going to be the greatest way to break into the alignment that truly works for you.
So it's not about a right or wrong, it is about alignment. And it's simply a beautiful journey and opportunity to love yourself more, but also to keep authentically being willing to be open-hearted and open-minded. So a lot of people who go dating, if they have been on a bit of a journey or gone through several marriages, then they can be, of course, understandably, a bit weighed down and a bit jaded. So all the things I've explained in this episode, please do them.
But also just realize that this alignment is your responsibility, it is your choice.
And so constantly be focusing on what is self loving, what is supportive, and truly don't give up that faith and realize of course there is an alignment and someone who's going to walk into your life who is in alignment with what you truly believe you are becoming, what you truly value, and the person you can fall in love with.
Well, I'd just like to wish everyone a very happy Valentine's Day. Whatever way you spend it, whether you spend it in self love with yourself or you get to take your beautiful better half out, whatever way you spend it, I wish you unconditionally loving joy, lots of laughs and lots of ways to keep open hearted and open minded. Thank you very much.
