Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Welcome to the making of you. I'm Alexandria, founder of the Mastery Project and your Transformation Hub. And now this podcast. This series is dedicated to harnessing your unique potential tools for purpose, empowerment and how to have fun becoming the architect of your own life.
[00:00:23] So today's episode, episode five is all about reading the room of your life.
[00:00:31] So the first thing I want to say is a lot of people who are shy, reserved, find it hard to engage in life, could benefit from what I'm going to talk about today.
[00:00:45] What happens when you're a person who's more introverted or just shyer around other people, is that there will be a tendency within all of us to seek security and to seek a safe place. Now unfortunately for most people, the safe place is where they can control their environment and they often end up inside the cube with what I call the limited self. So the limited self wants everything relatively controllable. It doesn't really like risk or any type of change.
[00:01:21] Now yes, sometimes we need to go back into our mind. Often when we're severely shocked or in trauma, that will happen.
[00:01:30] And that generally is quite understandable because it's a sort of balancing go to.
[00:01:37] The problem is the longer we spend with our limited self, the more particular sort of justification or reason start developing why we should actually stay there.
[00:01:50] So my number one today is be honest with yourself if you do feel a little bit isolated or a little bit disconnected and promise yourself that you're going to make your life a balance between what you think in your mind, but also finding creative solutions, alternatives, and energizing your life by being in your heart. And one of the things that people don't necessarily understand is you can be in self dedication. So some people simply are choosing to spend large amounts of time with themselves, not because they're isolated themselves, but because it is a particular time in their life where they need to dedicate to their vision, dedicate to understanding a life crossroads, or simply feel it's their time to actually explore their inner self and their heartfelt connection.
[00:02:49] So this brings me to my second point. When you're reading the room of your life, when you're connecting with all that surrounds you, your social sets, it is extremely easy to judge yourself and of course to judge those around you. So a lot of people, when they're shy or when they find it difficult to be in a group or in a presentation or speaking to others, it's simply because our limited self again gets hooked into self judgment.
[00:03:26] Now judgment is a very big topic I'm Just going to look at one aspect today and self judgment. Attachment is often going to be something that is going to lower your energy, that can become a persistent cycle or circle that can be very difficult to get out of.
[00:03:47] So the key with having the confidence to be in your life, to be socializing and to get out of shyness again is to look that you're not spending a disproportionate amount of time in your mind. Okay, so what happens is again your limited self will get a hold of self judgment and a little bit like a, I don't know, rubber hammer, it'll start bashing you with all the reasons why you're not doing well or nobody likes you, or issues that you are perhaps finding a little bit difficult to get over. Now the problem is the longer you spend in those dialogues with your limited self, the more likely you are to lower your energy, lower your sense of enthusiasm for yourself and also to be in a situation where you're wasting your time arguing with the part of yourself that doesn't want to change anyway. So the key to self judgment is to go into your heart and simply energize self honesty in the sense of pose the question, get the answers, get the energy by being in your heart connection to answer. What are the alternative ways I can approach self judgment so I can be self honest? So yes, if I am shy, I acknowledge it. What is the alternative? The alternative is to build my confidence, to build my energy by being in my heart center, by doing activities I love, by integrating the connectedness, for example, firstly with mother Nature, with pursuits, as I've said that you love to do, and building that loving energy. Because when you're in loving self loving and joyous and enthusiastic vibes, you're connected to your infinite potential, you're fueling yourself. And that's when you're much more likely to meet people in relative confidence because you have invested in fueling yourself, in energizing yourself. But when you're in your mind with your limited self, all you're doing is kind of criticizing or bashing yourself and as a result frequency lowers and you are basically potentially draining yourself.
[00:06:14] Okay, so number three, if you have issues with presentations, if you find it very difficult to talk to other people, or if you're learning to public speak and want to do this, one of the most important things I believe to read the room is literally to remember that everything in our lives is a co creation. So what do I mean by that? Well, I think it's very tempting when people don't like doing something to actually polarize how they perceive the situation. So if we're talking about giving presentations that one is perhaps nervous or reluctant to do, then you can have a situation where you literally aren't looking at a co creation, so looking at an audience that is open, you're looking at a them and a us type of situation, so, or me and them situation.
[00:07:10] So one of the key things to do and to choose when you're speaking to a group of people is to choose to see yourself in an inclusive relationship with that group. So not to see yourself as the outsider, not to see yourself as someone in conflict or someone who doesn't have the power to be able to be where you are.
[00:07:36] Believe it or not, whether we like it or not, the universe isn't a cruel, nasty place, all right? The flows of energy in the universe are neutral, all right? They're unconditionally loving and actually they're potentially very supportive. It just depends what we choose. All right? So always choose to see when you're in a situation that you are presenting to a group, that that group is part of the co creation, all right? And be willing and open to share whatever you have, because by doing so you're honoring the fact that that group also is willing to listen to you. All right? So choosing to see that as an inclusive and unified circumstance is going to make it a lot easier to say, to get in your zone, to stay in your heart, rather than starting to process all the reasons why you don't want to be there or don't like the experience or create resistance to it.
[00:08:42] Okay, number four. So if you want to read the room in the audience sense, it's very important as well to use some kind of heart opening way to engage your audience. Now some people like to tell a joke, all right, at the beginning of their presentation, some people like to talk about, you know, something that happened to them before they arrived at the presentation. Okay? So if they're slightly late, they might have a bit of a funny story about being late.
[00:09:20] Now, when you're doing presentations, I think it's extremely important to start with humour, if you can, if that's your natural way or that works for you, because it's actually incredibly healing for both yourself and your audience. Now, I talk a lot about the mind and heart alignment. Of course, we need both to process and live through our lives successfully. But it is always the heart center that is the prime connection to your infinite potential, to the energy that fuels your outer success.
[00:09:54] So if you laugh when you start your Presentations, as in that you're in good humor and you're laughing not at the audience, but perhaps the ridiculousness or the funniness of his situation. Then, number one, you open your own heart, all right? Which is extremely helpful to you. That is saying, I am available to share. I have the energy to share. And it's a lovely way to start because laughter and loving consciousness is actually infectious. All right? So everyone really, deep down wants to have a good time. And if you start with laughter, it's a high likelihood that you or engage your audience very successfully because they'll want to open their heart and kind of laugh with you. All right? So I think it's very important to actually have that emotional opener when you're engaging a presentation, a group of people, or to get out of shyness, if that is a problem for yourself.
[00:10:58] Okay? So laughter is the great connector, all right? And it reminds everyone that we're all in this together and that it's a sharing rather than being a situation of control or a situation of resistance.
[00:11:16] Okay, all right, then. Last point I'd like to make today is number five, resonance and relevance. Now, one of the most important things I believe with presentations is that a lot of them are very intellectual and they're very information orientated. All right? If we're talking about meeting new people, getting over shyness, then a lot of people can talk about things that they perceive are impressive, that are going to be considered to be very knowledgeable.
[00:11:53] However, that's again, being in your head rather than in this empowering place. If you want to communicate effectively and read the room of your life, well, it's about the resonance and relevance of what you're communicating.
[00:12:09] So a lot of the time it's much more important for you, if you're public speaking, for example, to put yourself in the shoes of your audience, okay? And say, actually, how can I convey what I am required to do in this presentation, perhaps, but make it relevant and resonant to them. All right? So it's a lot to do with the concept of serving people, but not servitude or belittlement. It's about saying, how would this information actually become wisdom? Because I've thought about how the information serves the audience. What's the benefits for them? What's in it for them? What could they take away from this presentation and use themselves and think that was really helpful and feel helped and feel that the information has actually become wisdom because it's been of service.
[00:13:14] So when you read the room, you're looking very much to get an energy connection with your audience. And if you're going to achieve that, whether it's for a friendship, whether it's for a presentation at work, or whether it's because you want to build your public speaking career, it's always good to look at what the audience wants and how you can bridge between what you want to say and what will become of service and help to your audience so they can learn and gain wisdom and actually want to see you again and want to enrich that relationship. All right, so that was number five. Okay. Well, it's been very interesting and been my great pleasure today to talk about reading the room and understanding relating from a point of healing shyness and also moving into a space where perhaps you can do your presentations confidently or speak confidently in a public space. If you'd like more more on this content, then please visit the website, your Transformation Hub and themasteryproject.com these websites have lots and lots of wisdom and tools that you can apply to learn more about your infinite potential and to use it and enjoy using it, becoming the architect of your own life. I'm Alexandria. Thank you very much for joining me. I look forward to seeing you at episode six. Thank you very much.
