Episode Transcript
[00:00:06] Welcome to the making of you. I'm Alexandria, founder of youf Transformation Hub and the Mastery Project. And now this podcast series. And all of my work is dedicated to harnessing your unique, infinite potential for tools of purpose and empowerment and having fun, becoming the architecture of your own life.
[00:00:27] So clients and friends said. Do a podcast, Alexandria. So here I am. The people have spoken. And today's episode, episode one is all about five ways to create loving relationships.
[00:00:43] Okay, well, love is a funny topic. Some people sort of screw their face up and don't hide that yucky love stuff. Other people would consider love to be perhaps a bigger concept. But my number one here for loving relationships is, of course, as Whitney said, the greatest love of all is with yourself. So starting with your loving connection and how you perceive love on a daily basis in your life now, we all have a connection within ourselves. You can call it in our hearts, you can call it in our energy field, you can call it in our consciousness.
[00:01:26] But we are all, without exception, with our unique connection. All right? No one can take that away from you. It's yours. You can just choose whether you use it, whether you're in alignment with it, or whether you don't. So don't ever think if anyone says to you, you're unlovable, you're not loving, all right? That. That isn't true. We've all got what it takes to be in a loving relationship. But of course, we do need to understand what that means. So in daily life, it's really important that we acknowledge first and foremost our connectedness. If you don't like the yucky love stuff, then just simply acknowledge that you have a connection to all that is and that you have an infinite gateway in your heart center to download infinite energy to bring the immaterial dreams of your life into a creative reality near you.
[00:02:27] So if you want a loving relationship, it is to be honest with yourself first and foremost that you have that connectedness. Whether you call it loving consciousness, whether you see it as being in love, whether you see it as energy, the connection is there. Don't ever underestimate it or deny it. It's there for you. The simple thing is you need to use your free will and choose to use it, okay? Because that flow is going to get resisted or isn't going to be used and isn't going to go into your next relationship or the relationship with yourself if you're not going to choose to use it consciously, okay? So it's most effective when you use it consciously. Now, if you want to Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself that you love your. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that might make you feel incredibly uncomfortable. You might love it. You might unleash a real sense that you can celebrate yourself. But acknowledging that connection is vital to attracting any type of loving relationship because loving yourself supports you, magnetizing someone to love you. It's that simple. Okay.
[00:03:45] Alrighty, number two.
[00:03:47] So what stands between you and a loving relationship? Well, we're probably not surprised. Again, but it's a bit closer to home than we perhaps recognize. Now, some of us do hang out a lot in our heads, all right? So not only are we not really acknowledging the power of our loving ability, we're actually avoiding it. Sort of hanging out in our heads going, oh, I'd like to control things. I like to have everything in order, and I don't like spontaneity and I don't like the unknown or the uncertain. So when we do that, we're most likely to bump into our limited self. Now, our limited self wants to live inside the cube of life. It wants to control everything. It wants to reinforce a limited perspective, doesn't like change. And actually, it's a very lonely part of ourselves.
[00:04:45] So what the limited self wants to do is basically say to you, come on, come into the office of the mind. You know, let's all sort of buy takeout and sit on the sofa and binge watch the latest drama.
[00:05:04] So the limited self wants you to spend time with the limited self. So basically you energize that limited self. Now, the limited self doesn't really believe in being in love. It doesn't believe in infinite possibility. What it does do is it wants everything safe, as I've said, limited and controlled and predictable. Now, love isn't predictable, all right? But what the limited self can also do is start planting kind of negative commentaries, discussions, anger inside of you or conflict. Give you lots of reasons why you can't step into a relationship or give relating a go.
[00:05:48] So the key is, please do not get caught in the office of the mind arguing with your limited self about how unlovable you are or how hard it is to have a relationship or getting into a critical dialogue about yourself. Now, believe it or not, it's a lot easier than we think to kind of get dragged down by that and drained by it. So you. Yes, we're not blaming the limited self. It's a part of us. But again, we're going to call upon free will and go, do you know what? I've made other plans. So I'm actually not going to sit in the office of the mind night after night being drained by my limited self, telling me what I can't do. So make the choice to get back in your heart center, get back in that beautiful infinite energy connection and say, do you know what? I'm worthy of a decent relationship. I am open to doing it and I am aware that perhaps I'm going to feel a little bit insecure or I'm going to go through some feelings of facing the change, but I'm going to do it anyway. So it is about harnessing that free will and saying my time, my energy, my love, my self love. And I'm going to choose to do it the way I want to.
[00:07:07] Okay, so number three, as I've mentioned before, a lot of us, we are convinced that we're sort of open hearted and open minded, but actually we do spend a disproportionate amount of time in the logistics and the administration of our lives. So we can get a little bit distant or we can have a poor overlap and not really have an open mind and an open heart coordinated together.
[00:07:36] So if you want to look at it from energy efficiency, it's always better for any creation that you want to draw into your life that you have an open heart and an open mind at any point, all right, it's always going to make better use of your beautiful infinite energy connection and it's going to make sure that that energy goes into what you're visualizing, what you're choosing, what is in your heart felt energy that is going to be energized more effectively if you've got an open heart and an open mind. And I know we all have expectations about relationships, but the key when you're magnetizing the relationship is to focus on the heartfelt qualities of the person that you want. Not a huge long list about what they look like, the shoes or watch they're wearing, the height of their heels, their hairstyle. All right, so it's much more about the heart centric qualities.
[00:08:40] If you do that, then the universe in your consciousness and in your expanded energy flow is much more likely to get the message in the immaterial and as a result send that quality to you without having too much time elapsing to put it into a form. The more physical details we have, unfortunately, the slower the form will arrive in our daily experience. So being open hearted and open minded is about focusing on the qualities, the heart centric, the way you want to feel about relating and hey, give that person the Benefit of the doubt. You know, embrace spontaneity, mix it up a bit, live a bit and learn about yourself. Even if you say, I was dragged kicking and screaming and I didn't want to go to that blind date, you do have the opportunity to learn about yourself and you in a loving circumstance or surrounded by the potential for love. All right, so don't think you're sort of exposed and gullible or insecure. You're just in a space where you're going, cool, I'm open to learning. I'm open hearted and open minded.
[00:09:55] Okay, the fourth is confidence. Now, if you look at dating surveys or you look at successful ways to find Mr. Or Mrs. W.R. in your life, then a lot of people will say, for the guys, buy a dog.
[00:10:13] I'm joking, I'm joking. So a lot of people will say, one of the most attractive on all levels, quality, is confidence. Now, what does confidence actually mean? Well, it comes from two words in Latin. Con meaning with, and fiense, meaning faith or trust. All right, so being confident is all about being open hearted. And as I've said, if you can have an open heart and an open mind, then you've got the fluidity of doing or backing yourself in the reality. So choosing to be confident in a certain way, but also in your heart, you've got that beautiful resonant energy of I'm trustworthy, I'm worthy, I'm open to life, and I'm open to you, whomever that may be.
[00:11:04] So it's really important that being confident is part of your loving relationship list of qualities, and most of all for yourself. Because as I've said, confident people are time and again seen to be some of the most attractive that anyone would ever want to be with, whether you're male or female.
[00:11:28] Okay, right then. So number five.
[00:11:34] Well, number five, there's a lot of things in relationships that I think are extremely important when you're building that next step.
[00:11:41] But also, I want to talk about trust. And also that trust combining with generosity. Now, what do I mean? Well, I know some of you guys are going to say, oh, everything's equal these days. And so when you date, if you try and pay for something, the woman is offended or jumps down your throat about being sexist. Well, it could be the other side as well, that simply with generosity, both parties can be generous. But if you do want someone to feel comfortable with you, to be able to volunteer that energy flow, to give it a go and take a risk is always going to help the energy of the construction of a relationship, full stop. All right? So even if you get accused of being sexist, you can say to yourself, I gave the opener, I went for it, and I put flow into what I want to start building. So even if it's not that person or even if that date doesn't go well, you're giving the signal to the universe by being generous and by being open and by trusting the process of dating that there will be an alignment in your not too distant future of the person if it's not that person now.
[00:13:01] So flow and putting flow in and willingness is a key component to being able to attract someone who is able to love you for you. But also it's a very good way to allow your energy to flow. So if you're feeling nervous or you're feeling like you just want to run away in your. In the office of your mind and hide because it's, you know, it's a little bit of a scary experience, then by contributing, you're very much moving into that space of supporting the relationship and supporting relating.
[00:13:41] Okay, well, that'll do it for episode one, and thank you very much for joining me, and I hope you had fun. I hope you perhaps had a little giggle to yourself about what you've been doing, if you've been dating or about past relationships, and I look forward to catching up with you at episode two. Thank you very much.
